quarantasei || video

[betrayedblade]

[The video only shows a pair of kunai being held within a set of calloused hands. The fingers and thumbs trace over the blades carefully, respectfully...and eventually what turns into a noticeable pattern. An invisible pattern. A missing pattern.

Giovanni moves the camera and it sets down to show a whole lot of nothing.]

...You'd think a person would get used to it by now. But I have to admit--I had known him for a long time now. A year... that is a long time here.

...he was like me. A ghost... ...a dead man...

[Click.]

Comments

[dontcallmegol.livejournal.com]

You too eh?

It's interesting how many of us are out there.

[betrayedblade.livejournal.com]

...oh?

It isn't right.

[dontcallmegol.livejournal.com]

Mn, I suppose. Those who were meant to have peace had it stolen from them.

On one hand I can't ever go home, on the other, I was given a second chance. I get to see my friends and family if they are brought here, but I also get to see them suffer this place too.

It's a double edged blade.

[betrayedblade.livejournal.com]

It is and so much more. But what can really be done about it. All that can be done is to go on and make the best of it.

Peace can be sought out later, if there is the chance.

[dontcallmegol.livejournal.com]

Agreed. It's not always easy to think so positive of this place, but its better than doing nothing.

It's strange. Most people hate it here, with good reason, and I wish them god speed to go home. But, for me? I've come to terms that this is where I will stay and live out the rest of the life I was given.

[betrayedblade.livejournal.com]

I used to prefer to go home. I did not dislike this place for being brought here so much as being separated from my work. And I did not mind meeting the people here; quite the opposite. I have met many enjoyable people here. It is almost...nice.

But now. Things have changed. What is better? And for me, or for others? [He shakes his head.]

[dontcallmegol.livejournal.com]

Mn, same here. I thought maybe if I go back I can change things... ya know? But it sounds like you're just tossed back home right where they took you from. Heh, and uh, yeah that's not gonna get me anywhere.

... I often question it too. Should I be happy with this being my life? Or should I want to go home and just rest, like I'm supposed to.

This place isn't good for anyone, even us, but... at the same time we learn things, we meet people we couldn't have, we grow and change in different ways, some good, some bad, it's... really difficult to say for people like us.

But I have no doubt in my mind that I'm here as support for my brothers and friends that I make here. At least until they can go home and be free. Least I can do is make the most of it, as you said, and do everything I can to make their stay here as comfortable and enjoyable as possible.

[betrayedblade.livejournal.com]

I went back--and nothing changed. I knew what was to come...

[But it made little difference. Was it because he forgot, or because no matter what he did it was meant to end the way it did? He couldn't be sure. Not for now.]

...they deserve better than what I can give. But since I am available and perhaps not any better--I will give what I can. Do what I can.

[A slight pause.]

Thank you.

[dontcallmegol.livejournal.com]

I think as long as you give it your all, that makes all the difference to them and to you as well.

{A pause as well.}

Ah... for what?

[betrayedblade.livejournal.com]

[He nods.

And then smiles slightly.]

For reminding me of this.